
7 MONTHS AND 2600KM FROM HOME.
I get it: 7 months seems an odd time to reflect. 6 months would have been the more obvious milestone, but honestly, it was one that crept completely under my radar. I want to say this is surprising, but more colossal plans aside ā like, I donāt know, move to Melbourne ā I tend to live pretty day-by-day. For that sake, itās really not surprising at all. Months have flown by and so too have many thoughts with them.
Itād be 7 months in ā as of Sunday the 14th of October ā before Iād truly internalise the time that has passed. Itād be 3 days post the offical date, where Iād get a chance to sit down where I am now ā at our make-do desk ā and reflect on whatās it like to be 2600km from home. In a city with no family and predominately, new friends.
When I phrase it like that, it sounds a bit shit. Like maybe, Iāve been sitting in my apartment, tearing up when A.J. walks out the door. Like perhaps, Iāve long-awaited each trip to New Zealand; on arrival, opening my arms to family, comfort and familiarity with a long-held sigh of relief.
Iām glad to announce that this has not been the case nor did I actually predict such an unfortunate series of events. If I did forecast such a grim welcome, I probably wouldnāt have aligned every path in my life towards Melbourne more than 7 months ago. The truth is, the past 7 months have been much of what I thought theyād be ā and in many ways, very different too.
To begin a series of which Iām calling āThe Laundromat Seriesā, Iām reflecting on my time spent in Melbourne so far. This is about spending time away from home. Arguably too, about becoming a fully-fledged and independent adult [disclaimer: this is not to say Iām anywhere close, but Iāll admit to being on the journey].
The day we shot these photos in a Richmond laundromat, there was an old man who came in to do his washing. Like most who dropped in and out, I thought he too would chuck his corduroy pants in the wash, and be on his way for an hour. Instead, this old man took a seat and pulled out a sandwich. With the risk of losing those coveted corduroy trousers, there was little to do but sit, I suppose. And so he munched on a cucumber and hummus sammie [Iām improvising here; I didnāt taste the sammie nor ask] ā and otherwise, seemed to do little but self-reflect.
On that note, I return now to The Laundromat to do the same thing. As for you, I can only hope itās not as dull to read about ā as it certainly looked, when that old man watched the tumble dryer turn. It turned over. And over. And over. And over again.
I could have told him then and there how the next hour would go. Over? Yep. Again.
Anyway, letās get to what you came for. Hereās what you need to know about the 7-month milestone in case youāre considering moving overseas.
Something I could have told myself, and will warn you about now, is expecting things to fall into place far more quickly, than in reality they really do. I suppose itās easy to disregard the fact that youāve spent your entire lifetime setting up friendship groups, networks, routines, etc. in your home country.
To put it bluntly, you canāt move countries and expect to build those life-long establishments in a month. Not even in 3. And not yet again in 7. Iāll admit that many things are only starting to settle themselves now. And when I say this, Iām referring to my circumstance career and job-wise. With friendships, relationship dynamics ā everything, essentially.
I mean, itās just going into Spring and Iām not even finished telling people that, āI thought Melbourne was just like all the other cities in Australia, but it actually gets really cold!ā All of a sudden, Iām talking about the heat and the humidity and how Iām not sure Iāll handle a Melbourne summer.
My point is: adjustment takes time. And to my own dismay, that time that doesnāt fluctuate based on your productivity. Obviously, it helps if youāre focused and determined; more, if you have an idea of the lifestyle you wish to establish. With that said, to develop any sense of routine, even to understand the city in which youāre living, and itās dynamics, takes far more than a few months.
Not only is this important to realise before you go ā so that you can anticipate periods of loneliness, discomfort and even, slight uncertainty ā itās also important to recognise when youāre just a couple of months in. Nothing will come from beating yourself up over what hasnāt happened for you yet. After all, you canāt force yourself to meet the right people. You can only put yourself in as many places that might see these opportunities arise.
Looking back over the last 7 months, I can see how people could have quite alternate experiences of moving and living overseas. Iād argue that this experience stems ultimately from personality traits, and too, from how well you adjust ā and keyword: ADAPT āĀ to new situations.
The truth is, there were countless times when I was tired from a day of work, or when I felt like being alone. Forcing myself to show up at occasions Iād planned to meet people despite of my mood, was one of the best things I could have done for myself over the past 7 months. Itās also one of the most important things Iād recommend to anyone else.
Back at home, it wouldnāt matter if you werenāt in the mood. Youād tell your friends another time, right? Here where youāre making first impressions, and where a single catch-up could turn into a long-term friendship, a single occasion becomes far more valuable. Cancel enough ā in some instances, cancel once ā and they just might not come up again.
As the moral of many stories go, it pays to push yourself. New cities donāt care if youāre shy or if youāre confident. They wonāt treat you any differently. The same rules apply for both characters. So no matter the role you typically play, itās time to get acquainted with making a bigger effort than you did it home. Because I assure you, youāll be digging for a good few months, before you find solid ground again.
But hereās something else you should know. At around 7 months ā give or take a few ā youāll have met some pretty great people. Youāll have thanked yourself for the times where you mustered up the energy to go and grab a drink. Youāll be glad that you trusted yourself, and that you trusted time. Somehow, it always does manage to work out for us in the end.
If youāve moved with a partner, you should also hold out for the 7 month mark ā again, give or take a few. I severely underestimated how much pressure moving overseas would put on a relationship. I knew itād be hard. I knew thereād be new challenges. But I didnāt comprehend the full extent these challenges would arise.
Itās not easy when you go from being largely independent individuals, who come together because they enjoy it. To very dependent individuals, who come together both because they enjoy it, and now too, because they have no choice!
As youāre making friends, as youāre finding your way in a new city, this person becomes your place of comfort. But they also become your place of frustration. Your place of self-doubt, angst and every other feeling you might be experiencing. Thatās certain to be hard on the both of you ā and most definitely was for myself and A.J.
Whilst you may find that youāre not actually compatible for the harder times ā and this is okay too ā you may also find your way through them. This will be one of the most gratifying and strengthening experiences of your relationship so far. You might feel like a married couple. But I promise youāll also feel more fun. More adventurous. And far more loving too.
7 months in, and I do miss my family and friends. Sometimes, I miss the mundane pleasure of texting someone and going for a walk a half hour later. With friends located across a far larger city, they hardly ever are in the coffee shop around the corner ā as could quite easily be the case in Wellington.
But 7 months in, and I can say with complete transparency, that thereās no place Iād rather be. I am better off here. My family and my friends know that. I know that. Iām happier. As A.J. noted, I have even more drive. I see all the opportunities around me. And now that Iām finally parking my flag within them, I know in my heart that itās only the beginning.
Hereās to the next oddly-timed milestone. I canāt wait to meet you.
Kenzie xx
Wearing: Grace the Label CAMBERWELL Long Sleeve Boyfriend Tee in white, FITZROY cap in white, Pants [Fitzroy op-shop], Lovisa earrings,Ā K-mart Short Heel Gussel boots.
Images by Julia Krivoshev.
Make-up by Dominique Matthews.


3 Comments
Katie Kuo
Love these sort of posts, and hearing your experiences
it’s something that’s been on my mind, in terms of moving overseas after studying.
“Iād argue that this experience stems ultimately from personality traits, and too, from how well you adjust ā and keyword: ADAPT ā to new situations” is so key! I think how you adapt and who you surround yourself with, can make all the difference no matter what city you’re in xx
currentlylovingblog
Hi Katie! So glad you like reading about it.. because, well, I clearly enjoy writing about it! š Would definitely recommend moving overseas after you study ā it grows you in a plethora of ways and more or less forces you to be the director of your social situations, of your career, of your wellbeing ā everything! So many lessons involved and such a rewarding process so keep me updated if you do! šø Any questions as well, Iām always here. Thanks for reading and love your support always xxx
Katie Kuo
So true and love your blog, I’m definitely going to seriously consider it! <3